I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
