When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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