he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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