so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
