The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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