im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
