my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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