yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
