Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
