She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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