Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
