their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
