you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
