Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
