Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
