we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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