Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
