Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And then he peed in my hair
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