I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
