dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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