legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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