when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
