so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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