i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
