I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
