I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
