if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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