Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
