Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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