yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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