no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
