It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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