So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
