i already hear my dad disowning me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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