i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
