piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
