i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
