My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
