Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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