I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Come see our sink grown plant.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
