Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
