Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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