nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
