Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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