hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
