Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
