There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
