i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
