everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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