$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
