He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
