Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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